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I just couldn't get on with this book - something was missing and I couldn't say what. I definitely preferred "10 DAYS TO A LESS DEFIANT CHILD" by by Jeffrey Bernstein - which is somehow more compassionate and clearer and less prescriptive, as well as being easier to read.
I know a lot of people like this book. I think my daughter just felt that the language and script were talking down to her. She didn't buy in no matter how many times we tried. And the fan following of this book is a bit over-the-top and would just insist I'm not changing my lens - that's the reason why they claim this method hasn't worked. It couldn't possibly be because one singular method doesn't work for every child on earth... Maybe it's better for NT children than gifted children?
Unfortunately, this book doesn't teach you what to do with your negative, explosive child during an episode.
The book provides examples of kids with similar behaviors to my own kid, and it does explain why kids tend to explode, but it doesn't say what you can during during those explosions. The solution provided is extremely unrealistic.
In short, the solution is communication, but how do you communicate with a child who is having an episode? The way communication goes in this book, the conversations seem taken straight out of a disney tv show.
What parent, frustrated when your child explodes, is going to sit down and say "hey, I see you are having difficulties doing homework. What's up?"
The idea is good, but obviously, the author hasn't really lived through one of those explosive episodes.
The book explains why kids explode. For instance, not being able to transition from one taks to another (e.g., from watching tv to have dinner). And that part is good even if vague. But what I want to know is this:
- How could my child transition from one task to another without frustration? - What can I do with my child's chronic state of irritation? - How can I help my child to see "the grays"?
None of that in answered.
Sometimes, children explode because we nag too much (come to diner, pick up your room...).
Get a different angle on children like: Raising Your Spirited Child or The Child Whisperer instead. This book is all about negative labels and trying to get an energetic and spiritually free child to loose their dreams and basically negatively label otherwise brilliant children. It is not a positive resource in my opinion.
DO NOT BUY if you think this is for your toddler! I bought this book for my daughter for her 2 year old. I should have done better research on the book. We have a very frustrated 2 year old and I thought this book would help. It is for school age children up to past the teen years. I did not read the entire book; after I determined it was not for toddlers, I stopped reading. I have no clue if it is good reading advice for your school age children.
I recieved this book today and read it today. I was signifigantly underwhelmed by the generic ignorance the author assumes the reader is stricken with. This is nothing of what I expected it to be. I felt like the author was talking to a person who had no clue how to speak and act toward/around children. I felt that he often patronized parents who really had no clue. I hold a Ph.D and this was the first "self help" book that Ive read. I feel like I know my children without measure and that I can predict my sons episodes, sometimes days, before he knows about them. I feel very well equipped to deal with my sons disorder. A more applicable book for me would be a history of O.D.D, or something of the like. Having said all that, though, I am very, very glad that there are resources for parents out there that need it. Im glad to see that he has helped many families cope with this disorder. I would not recommend this for someone who needs a further understanding of O.D.D. I would recommend this for someone who needs to deal with an immediate problem and not really understand the root of O.D.D.