Eye, Mind and Heart Opening
Reviewed in the United States on 10 May 2006
As a graduate of WEAVE (Women Escaping a Violent Environment -actually for men, women, children, & elders, but PEAVE as an
acronym for "People Escaping...." just didn't have the
right connotation) I had learned not only about generational violence and why people become abusive, disrespectful or violent,
but also how to "hear" my own feelings, and warning signals, speak up for them, and ask clearly for what I wanted. This alone was a tremendous win. However, I noticed in practice that when I did so, it was the unusual person who would automatically respond in kind and tell me what they were feeling or wanted. Gradually I felt awkward and unsatisfied, but couldn't really identify what was missing.
Non-Violent Communication offers what was missing: connection and communion. Even though formerly considering myself intuitive, learning to listen to others empathically, below differing opinions, facts and values to the heart of the person, their human needs, was extremely challenging, even frightening - doubtless due to former abuse - but when the breakthrough came, it was extraordinary!! My parents argued very disrespectfully and loudly to solve differences or problems; I overcompensated by appearing to not have any, and then avoiding the situation or person. You can understand how alienating this is, how disconnecting and de-humanizing. I'm very glad to have made the effort to learn this with one or two willing and safe friends, as now it is easier to apply in more difficult situations, for instance, with my family.
This CD set is a wonderful introduction and overview, filled with somefunny, some amazing anecdotes. Dr. Rosenberg has a very soothing voice, a dry sense of humour, and surprisingly, rather pleasing little songs. (At first I thought "Oh, no; this is going to be hokey - but it wasn't. Now in odd moments, I find myself singing "See Me Beautiful"like the school kids!)
Disc One is an introduction to NVC, how discovering why some people use violence and abuse to gain their way, and why others
retain their humanity and consideration was Dr. Rosenberg's deep
purpose in life. He goes on to show real life basics and how to apply NVC personally.
On disc two, NVC is shown in international, social and justice
situations. In one instance of a child molester, my mouth hung opened and I stood stock still for a few minutes listening to how Dr. Rosenberg helped the prisoner discover how terrorizing
children had filled a profound and deeply hidden need for him. The next step is actually a lot easier, which is to gently assist him to getting his needs met and those of the community
in less costly ways. Before getting the facts about who ends up in prison and who is statistically executed, my opinion was that there are certain violent crimes- murder, rape and child molestation - that did deserve the death penalty. It's pretty easy to get very angry about the crime and not see the criminal
as a human being, or coversely go the other way and feel terribly sorry for them, put them in prison, and walk away. But he, Dr. Rosenberg was there, and did do this with this guy, and it did work. It's pretty staggering, and pretty profound, if we
could eventually change our justice system from punitive to
restorative. To me, it's even more profound, more direct, and
more applicable (though maybe no easier) than forgiving one's
enemies, and turning the other cheek.
Well, see for yourself! I'll bet something on this CD will affect everyone who listens to it in a profound way. Highly recommended as a first step. If you like it, then you can get
the book, and start practicing with a good friend!
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